Hell Week- CONQUERED!

Woo hoo!



My hell week: an exam in Latin American literature, an oral presentation in group for sociology, and an exam in Spanish grammar....defeated!!



The beginning of last week was really rocky. For my literature exam I was especially freaking out because honestly I'd only read about a quarter of the material that was assigned...my excuse, and yes I know it is an excuse, is that all of it was SOO boring. The first book that we had to read was Christopher Columbus' diary, in which the first 40 pages were merely "today we headed west, we went about 25 leagues, but we only wrote down 22, later in the day there was calm so we didn't get that far" and repeated for almost every entry!! Torture to get through, and all of the following readings were still about La Conquista, letters by Hernan Cortes, Fray Bartolome de las Casas...all of it so similar, that it was so hard to get through, that honestly I didn't read it.

Our professor told us that our test was going to be very specific, the first part identification, she's going to pull out a quote, and we have to identify the text, the author, and write a small paragraph of the significance of the quote to the story!!! and the second part an essay with textual evidence backing up our claims. So the night before the exam realizing how much I needed to catch up on I was almost in tears, realizing that i messed up because for this class its only a midterm and an exam and a paper, and I was positive that I was going to fail. Test day came I felt a little better after studying and making flash cards with all of the readings, authors and summaries that i could come up with from memory, and what I got from the class discussions. I recieved the test and felt better because I knew more than I thought I knew...ha ha. So I recieve my grade for my test next class...whenever that is...So i'll let you all know how it went in the next blog.



Next on Wednesday was my presentation in Sociology about Delincuency and Poverty. This presentation was in a group, we've had it since the beginning of the semester. There are three of us, we divided the work that I was going to talk about Latin America, another girl about PR, and another girl on the global level. We pretty much worked on our parts independently, until the day we were supposed to email the presentation to the professor. We set up to meet at Borders Sunday at 9 am. So I had to be out the door at 7:30 to make it on time, because I didnt want to be late, and you never know the bus situation, especially on the weekend. Well I get off the bus exactly at 9, walk around to find Borders, I get there, and no one is there, AND Borders doesn't even open until 10. So I'm not freaking out yet, I got get some breakfast at a sandwich shop thats close by, and when I come back to Borders I text my group mates if they're still coming, and they reply yes. Around 10:15 I get a phone call from one of the girls saying they're going to meet at a Borders in a different Plaza. When I told her I was already here and it would take me like 3 hours to get over there, she was confused as to why I was there already. I kindly reminded her that we had said we were going to meet at 9 AM! So then she told me that the other girl said she couldn't get out of church in time, so that they set up to meet at 11AM instead, the catch is NEITHER CALLED ME!!! At that point I was heated, cause it was so early I didn't have someone to call to vent. So they rushed over to where I was, and we put the pieces of the presentation together. We were running against the clock because apparently because of some accident, all Borders have taken out all outlets in their stores, so we had the battery on our computers, and that was it, but luckily it was enough, and we finished just as the computers shut down on us. ha ha
Presentation day was pretty nerve wracking, especially with one of my groupmates stressing that she HAD to look over my part to correct my grammar. In the end, we rocked the presentation, the professor said we did a good job. Yes, I stumbled on some words because I was nervous but it wasn't crippling, and I'm actually pretty proud of myself for accomplishing it.

Thursday's exam, I thought was a piece of cake. Especially after studying the night before with my fellow exchange buddies, playing jeopardy with the flash cards that I made.

I can't be sure... but I'm think this is going to be a good semester GPA wise. On my first exam for Sociology I got a 99, I got an 85 on my first exam in my Spanish Writing class, where there was no A's on the exam, and I got totally embarrassed when my professor called me out for going above and beyond because I'm American and actually did well on the exam (ha ha). Once I get these results back then I'll have a better idea for sure, but its exciting :)

That is if we can get the grades...theres a lot of revolutionary stuff going on around here, that I'll get into more in another blog. But for now I shall bid farewell, and get ready for my roadtrip to Mayaguez and Ponce during the week off that we have due to striking issues. Until next time!!!

~Cat

So Its Setting In...

....the homesick~ness....

Definitely setting in. I've been here a month and a half now, and man it feels like time has flown by, but on the other hand it feels like forever since I've seen my family and those that I care about. I guess its just little things that are making me miss home.

Its kind of funny, the first thing that really made say, "Man I wish I was in Cali." At most of the bars here there are jukeboxes that people play music on and one night we were walking down the street, and I heard some banda music (you know with the big hats and the tuba in the background). The truth is I'm not really a fan of banda music, but whenever I'm in LA, partying with my girls, at the end of the night there is always a banda song playing. So I rushed my friends inside that bar and danced the minute that was left of the song, and then left the bar :P And along the same lines, whenever I'm dancing/clubbing I keep expecting to here "Oye Mi Amor" at some point in the night, but it never comes, just another thing that makes me miss Cali.

But not only music makes me miss home. I'm still on all the mailing lists for back home, so I read about the first meetings for all my clubs, the first social, community service, fundraisers, parties, Endependence Day, etc...and it really makes me sad that I'm not there, and I know I have absolutely no ground to complain or be sad, but there is a part inside of me that wants to be sharing those memories with my loved ones. My first niece is due to be born in a few weeks and I'm going to have to meet her when she's already three months old. My sister is in her senior year, and I'm not going to be there for her last powder puff/homecoming game. I guess I'm just going to have to take advantage of facebook and myspace, and live vicariously through the pictures that I see there.

Onto a lighter subject....

So last weekend part of the American Army (the 10-15 of us American exchange students who are pretty much always together) went to Culebra (another island off of Puerto Rico). We camped there and stayed from Friday to Sunday. The original plan was to leave at 5 am to Fajardo on the other side of the island to catch the ferry that takes us there. I ended up oversleeping my alarm which was set at 3:40, i roll over and its 4:20 already, so i run to the shower, and hurry cause I hate making people wait. I'm almost ready and its 4:55 so i'm freaking out, and run downstairs make it right at 5, and of course I'm the first one there. Morgan comes shortly after, and then we start texting the rest of the pack, who ended up over sleeping in an attempt to stay up all night and just leave with us. We called a taxi and headed out. When we got to Fajardo, we waited in line to get our ferry tickets, because the window wasn't even open yet to start selling. Then after a long FREEZING ferry ride we finally make it to the island and take a little bus to Flamenco beach (which is rated as one of the most beautiful beaches in the world according to the travel channel and I totally agree). We swam in the most clear water, got crispy from the sun, got bitten by mosquitos ants and such, and sat under the most beautiful blanket of stars (I felt like I was at Griffith Observatory, under all of those stars), played 'Hot Seat' and got to know eachother on a more intimate level, and laughed the night away, it was a pretty amazing weekend.

Even with the homesick~ness, all of the adventures I have here are great. Culebra, walking around old San Juan and getting tricked into buying a $10 bracelet because it matches what i'm wearing (okay okay not tricked), walking El Morro, taking a million pictures, wondering if we have school the next day due to a strike, meeting new people who think i'm boricua, searching for prince charming, taking $1 tequila shots, dancing salsa, kickin' it in PB2, or being a shopaholic, its definitley a semester to remember.

Well friends, I must leave now, I think i did better this time with the update and its not like a chapter book. But if you've made it this far again I thank you for caring enough to read my little updates. Please feel free to comment, I love reading your thoughts! Take care

Until next time....

~Cat

Really?

Hey All!

Everything is going well over here, just figured i'd give an update before i attack the pile of reading that awaits me, for those of you who know me well, know that I am the hugest procrastinator and being in PR is not an exception.

Its kind of funny that I don't have the same work load that I do back home, but I find myself still so tired all the time, and thinking, "wow omg i have so much to do." I actually even dropped a class, which leaves me at 12 units. I haven't taken 12 units since freshman year when i was on academic probation. I had to drop the class though, it was Sociology of Gender and Sexuality, which I was only taking for my own personal growth. It sounded interesting, but it wouldn't count for anything since my coursework is so specific.

The main reason why I dropped the class is because on Tuesdays and Thursdays I had four classes back to back with ten minutes in between. All of my other classes were in the humanities building, and my sociology class is in Social Sciences which is super far away. Which means that finishing my 10 o clock class I would have to run over to Social Sciences, sit in that class and run back to Humanities. That part wouldn't be such a problem if my classes got out on time. The thing about the Gender and Sexuality class is its a major discussion/arguing class. I actually walked out of a conversation because it was already 3 minutes after class was over, and i felt rude, but i was already late to my next class. The next thing is that there is a lot of reading for that class, and with my literature class and other grammar and writing classes it would just add extra stress to me feeling behind in my work. So I made the decision to drop the class.

Dropping the class wasn't that easy either. Since it was past the deadline for the international office to do the changes i had to go to the offices to get a slip signed. So I figured the class that I wanted to drop was sociology, which falls under the college of social sciences, that is where I would need to go to drop the class. I looked around the building for a good half hour trying to find the office that would help be because no one seemed to know where the office was, and when I got there the woman was so RUDE! She told me that I was in the wrong place. That because I fell under the education department I needed to go there to change my schedule, it didn't matter if it was a sociology class. The thing was the way she was talking to me was like if i was some idiot, that didn't know, and totally didn't sympathize when I told her that I was an exchange student. And when I asked where the education building was, she looked frustrated that she had to deal with such a stupid person like me! In the end she didn't even give me good directions! Lucky for me this girl in my next class took me there and I got it taken care of. Otherwise my classes are going well, I think i'm understanding everything. Although this whole Smith last name is really getting to me here. One of my teachers doesn't remember my first name so only calls me by Smith, and another teacher is so surprised that I speak Spanish so well, but still asks me if i'm understanding, even though when she calls on me I get the answer right, which is more than I can say for some of my classmates. Its kind of funny.

Anyway....

So this weekend has pretty much been Birthday Weekend for one of the girls in our little clique her in PR. So we went out Thursday night down the street to the clubs and stuff, wearing white, as a signal of peace to the police, as a follow-up to what happened last week. Friday we went to the beach, and then to dennys, and the plan was to do an beach party sleepover on saturday but the weather didn't allow us to.

Freakin Rain!

So since we were going to be at the beach all night, Brittany (Another girl from our clique) and I woke up hella early (at this point I don't remember the reasoning for it) and went to Walmart. It was a short trip there, and before we actually went into walmart, we went into Marianne's a great little shop that has super cute clearance buy one get one free super cheap, so i had to go and fulfill my shopping problem there :P

The main reason we went to walmart was because Brittany wanted a crock pot, so that we could have some real cooked meals here instead of just eating Ramen, and sandwiches. So we went on the hunt for one. And in the appliance aisle we didn't see them all we saw were rice cookers, and Brittany let her southern out and was like "what the hell is a rice cooker" which i assume is the same as a crock pot, but given the fact that I've never really cooked out of either of those two things I don't really know for sure. Finally, we found actual crockpots and it was bigger and cheaper than the rice cooker so it was a huge score. We proceeded to shop around the store, she got food to make a pot roast in her crock pot. We get to check out, and the crock pot doesn't scan. The cashier, who apparently was either new or not a good cashier, punched in the numbers and it still wouldn't scan, the manager came and told her to punch in some different numbers, and i still didn't work, so they put her purchase on hold while the manager when to go get a different barcode, and to avoid a huge line. So I checked out my stuff, and apparently this girl had never seen reusable shopping bags cause she was making me bag my own stuff and pretty much throwing the stuff at me. The manager comes back with a new label and they scan it, and it says, not able to sell. So then they take us to customer service, and explain to us that they can't sell us the item because its been recalled. At that point I got angry and was just telling them how can they have the item on the shelf and cause all of this waiting for nothing, and that there was nothing we can do to buy the damn crock pot. So angrily we went to go get the other one on the shelf and took it to customer service and told them here so you don't have this problem again!! And that wasn't the worst of it....

We walked out side of Walmart and it was sunny for about a minute, and then we felt rain drops. We headed to the bus stop, which is the only bus stop here that we've had to take that doesn't have a bench or a cover on it. Then it starts raining like there is a freakin' storm, hard rain, wind getting all of our clothes wet, and all of our stuff. I had my small umbrella, but it didn't do too much against the wind so we were soaked. We waited for out B7 bus to come for 2 hours!!! and it never came!

Finally we were just so desperate that we called the taxi company to send us a taxi, but they told us that they have units always available in front of walmart so it would be easier to go look for one, instead of having them send us one. So we walked all the way back to in front of walmart, in soaking shorts, tanktop, and flip flops that were slipping everywhere. And where we got to the front of the store, we didn't see any taxis. So we waited about five minutes later Brittany spotted one, and we asked him if he'd take us to Rio Piedras, and we got in.

This was definitely an interesting cab ride...two american girls soaking wet, in a cab with with a creepy man in his 30s/40s. Atleast when he noticed us shivering he turned down the AC, but he was definitely flirting. Asking where we were from, since i was the one who spoke spanish he was asking more questions. When I told him I was salvadorean, he was like, "oh are salvadorean women, good" and I was just like "Good in what way?" and he said "For everything" and I simply replied "Of course" He proceeded asking us how long we have been in PR and how long we were staying. Then busts out with "Are all salvadorean women chubby and cute like you?" I just laughed and said, "oh there are all kinds of us" and what definitely made me crack up when he asked me, whats your sign? Oh I'm capricorn. Friggen halrious! While sitting in traffic he gave us his card, so that in any case we needed he'd be available. Very interesting taxi ride...enough said.

Kind of out of order, but when we came home from the beach on Friday, i had a sore throat, and i thought it may have been because I had swallowed some salt water or something, but when i woke up on Sat before we went to walmart, it was hurting way worse, so I was really hoping that I wasn't getting sick, but after all of the wind and rain, I definitely have a cold. So for now its dayquil and water for me. I know my updates are kind of long, but congratuations to those who have made it all the way through! Please feel free to leave the love!!! Miss everyone!

~Cat

Addendum-

After all the commotion from Thursday when we were sitting upstairs watching the outside from the window. This girl Jasmine from our building who is a native here, was asking me and Brittany very preoccupied if what happened changed our view of the island.

It really got me thinking, if I was going to let this one crazy night cloud my entire experience of the island. And after much thought, I decided that I wasn't going to let myself have a bad time here after what happened.

This is still a beautiful island, with a ton of friendly people who talk super fast lol. I've still had a great time on the beach, dancing it up, and having a few malibu & pineapples :)

What happened Thursday could just as easily have happened in LA, so for now I'm going to enjoy my four months! :)

~Cat

The Crazy Night- August 20/21, 2009

Hey all,

I know that I haven't really been updating as much as we all would like me to, things are just kind of all over the place right now, crazy good and bad, and also not having internet in my room is probably the biggest contributor to the situation, ha ha. But anyway, this entry is not really going to be an over view of how i've been, that'll come soon. But for now I just want to let out the traumatizing events that happened on thursday night.

So I guess to totally understand the situation, you must know that on the avenue that the dorms that I live in are on a street where there are a lot of different bars and clubs down the way. So on Thursday Brittany, the Alexs and I went out. We went to Kool o Loco bar first so that we could get some drinks and not break our pockets (you can't beat $2 bacardi mixed drinks and $1 shots).

From there went across the street to 8 de Blanco to dance and one of the Alex's left us to go home. The dance floor was crowded and the music wasn't that good so we went upstairs cause the girls needed to use the bathroom. From there we met this locals who dared Brittany to take this huge shot, which was supposedly full tequila. And she did it, after she made them buy her a new one that we saw come from the bar so no funny stuff went on. We talked to them for a while, then met up with some other exchange students that we knew, and decided to kick it with them. They needed to go back to their place to get something, so we headed out with them.

After hanging out at their room for a while we decided to hit up this other spot called Boricua, which is kind of like, to me anyways, a big hut with a patio where people were dancing/sitting and drinking and smoking. So we danced a little salsa and talking to locals.

At that point was were I was getting phone calls and text messages saying "Are you okay?" I didn't know what was going on until my other friend Kaitlin from Idaho said they were still in 8 and the police were throwing tear gas at people and pepper spraying them, and she didn't know how to get back to the dorm because everything was blocked off so she asked us to stay at Boricua so we could all go home together. I later found out what started it was that a drunk guy outside of a chinese restaurant got into a fight with a cop and ended up throwing a bottle at the policeman and thats where the chaos started.

We waited for Kaitlin at Boricua and hung out there a while, but it was like past 3 in the morning so we decided to go home. So when we got in front our building, we were still chatting with the guys, there was talk of driving to the beach, and all that jazz but I wasn't feeling it. Then I look into the street and the police are walking down the street in a straight line (It sort of reminded me of the a scene in the movies that after the explosion happens and the protagonists come out of it walking tall that they survived).

I was scared to cross the street in front of the police, but of course i had to get home so i ran quickly. In front my building in like this courtyard area there was a huge crowd. I met up with Treavor which was one of my friends who had texted me are you okay? He was downstairs trying to see what all of the commotion was about. At this point a part of the crowd started chanting at the police "Puerco!" "Brutos!" and some other chants that I didn't really understand since it all happened so fast.

At that point they threw another can of tear gas in the street sort of to the side of the builiding. Thats when Treavor and I started running inside, and they threw another can at the building. Then they pulled out their beanbag guns, and we heard a few shots.

While waiting in the lobby pretty scared this guys comes in running carrying this girl, whos legs are full of blood and his arms and hands are full of blood, they put her down on a chair and she has a huge hole in her leg. The guy after putting her down on the row of chairs dropped to his knees and broke down crying. And at that point i really wanted to cry too, cause when I saw her in his arms I thought that she was dead. The paramedics came soon, and just took her on the row of chairs that they placed her down on.

I met up with Brittany again who had gone to walk around away from the commotion before the tear gas and the bean bag guns. And we decided to go upstairs. I went to her floor and told her everything I saw, and we were both pretty freaked out. After a little while of watching from the window, what was going on, it was already past 4 o'clock, so I went to my room.

It was definitely hard to sleep that night. I mean its hard for me to get my mind around the concept that we're running scared from the people that are supposed to be protecting us. Keep in mind that everything said in this blog is my opinion and take it for what it is. I am not saying that I am right or the final word, this is just a place to express my thoughts. But I really think that they went too far. The tear gas that they were throwing at 8, wasn't just one to get people to calm down in was like an attack, 10 or 11 cans, pepperspraying whoever. Treavor said that he saw 5 cops beat down 1 guy. And then the whole commotion in front of the dorms. We don't have AC in our building so most of the people have their window open. So those facing the street got the tear gas too even though they were in their rooms innocently sleeping. And of course I'll never forget the sight of the bloody girl being carried into the buiding.

I'm not putting the entire blame on the cops. I think that if there wasn't chanting at them in front of the building, the last part probably wouldn't have happened. But what happened was pretty extreme. There is definitely a power struggle going over here. Actually the police aren't allowed on campus because of a previous riot years ago where a girl was killed.

So for now, we walk the streets in fear? Yes and no, its a matter of wrong place at the wrong time. I am so glad that someone was watching over me and put me out of harms way that night. So I am going to take a deep breath, and still enjoy the time i have en La Isla del Encanto.

~Cat

La Isla del Encanto

So I FINALLY have internet, and the time to do my update, so here it goes...

It has definitely been a crazy couple of days...lol to say the least. And honestly it all still seems so surreal. Four days later, I still feel like I'm a dream.

Friday was kind of hard cause I was doing a lot of last minute packing, figuring out what i couldn't take so that I wouldn't go over the weight limit, spending time with my family, mentally preparing myself for going on my first plane ride, being in a whole new place, living with people i don't know, having a shower down the hall for the first time, and a whole new climate. So it was kind of alot.

Getting to LAX was crazy because the parking lot that was right next to where i was supposed to go was full, but you couldn't see that it was full until you pulled in and it wouldn't give you the ticket, so then in traffic we had to back up and get let back in and go find a parking lot that was farther, I was kind of freaking out because i didn't want to be late, but of course i was just being over paranoid. So I was going through the lines getting everything checked, and thankfully my luggage made it (44 and 46 lbs lol) So I waited for a while and then it was time for take off!! The flight from LA to ATL was not the most comfortable thing in the world. I am too tall for a plane ride let me tell you. I just couldn't get comfortable, my knees were pressed against the seat in front of my, I was sitting next to this old man and his wife. But atleast I had the window seat so i could look out the window and rest my head on the wall for any sleep that I did get.

We arrived in ATL at 5:50AM as opposed to 6:18 as scheduled. And of course I got dropped off at a terminal that felt like it was practically at the other end from the other terminal that i was supposed to depart from...and man were my carry-ons heavy (I have way too much stuff...but not enough, its a catch-22 :P) I met up with Cristina, this girl from CSUN who i had a class with last fall, who is also here in PR with me. We had breakfast and waited for our flight. Which was a little better this time, i fell asleep the whole three hours. We were about a half hour late arriving into PR because the food carts were late getting to the plane, i thought that was amusing...

Arriving in PR, everything went smoothly, my luggage was there, and the school was there to pick me up, I met like the 10 other NSE/International students that were getting picked and we headed off to our new place to live. Oh man people drive crazy here in PR....lol it makes me feel like i can drive in LA lol.

So pretty much they just dropped us off at the building and said okay we'll see you tomorrow at 8:30 AM...and all of us were like "umm...okay what do we do now" we ended up spending the next hour filling out paperwork for our dorm and getting the keys and getting settled in. I was really lucky because I ended up being assigned a single. Having roommate issues was something that I was really worried about. I haven't had a bad roommate in 2 and half years, and during the time I did have roomie issues I was going home every weekend, and for obvious reasons that would not be possible if that were the case here. So now I can be social, but still come back to have a little privacy.

I know, I know, many of you are looking to see pictures, unfortunately I haven't gotten much of a chance to take a lot of pictures, and much less uploading them since i just got my internet hooked up. I'm kind of just taking in everything, but I promise that I will have some sort of pictures up soon.

So Friday night, we all went out for dinner, and yes we had subway...that was also something else that amused me. We went to Walgreens to get some things that we needed, some groceries...etc...i'm still in need of a fan....

I would say if anything I would have only two complaints about being here...One: THE HUMIDTY! I thought being a child of the desert I knew what heat was, having been in weather over 100 degrees, but no...i did not know true heat until I got to the island. I swear I am trapped in heat bubble and I can't breathe!! Ha ha I am so over dramatic, but whoever knows me knows that too...well only sometimes...and anyways its getting better and i'm getting more used to it.

The second thing that i would say that has been not cool, would be that there are roaches in the building, the first night i only slept one hour because I saw one on the wall and then went to clean everything, and still slept with my mp3 player on and one eye open, but i went and bought raid stuff and its been alright, i definitely know people who have it worse than me.

Saturday, we had our orientation which was kind of a waste because most of it was an H1N1 Lecture. and by lecture i don't necessarily mean how to take care of yourself it was mostly like history and biology stuff, so pretty much what could have been summed up in 5 minutes with, wash your hands, cover your coughs, and don't touch eachother, was a 20 minute lecture, and we were in such a big group for the tour that it wasn't very helpful. But it was good networking and I met alot more of my fellow students.

After orientation we took the bus to Old San Juan, and got off way too early and walked SOO much! I swear these last 4 days i've walked more than i have all summer...But we got a good view of the ocean, and got to see some historical buildings for PR.

Yesterday school started, and I think that I am happy with my classes, lol most people think that I'm Boricua so its kind of funny, and cool at the same time. Well peeps I think thats my update for now its 1:30 AM and I have yet another long day ahead of me tomorrow, so i'll talk to you all soon :*

~Cat

AHHH!

So the time has come...today is August 7, 2009 as you can read above where the date of the post shows...but thats besides the point. The day has finally come, and to think it seems like its only been the blink of an eye since is was like 67 days left in the countdown.

My emotions towards this trip have really been kind of in a bottle up in til now, sure i was a little nervous, a little scared that it's going to be a new place, and with so many new people that i don't know and so far away from my family and friends that i love dearly. But also slightly excited because this is a really big adventure for me. A child from the desert, born and raised pretty much in socal with very little experience of the world, this is going to be an amazing new experience. So packing my suitcases today (yes the procrastinator of all time when it comes to packing/unpacking ha ha, Beylah and Regina know best) its really hitting me...OMG I'm leaving...(And also OMG i have way too much stuff and am not allowed enough luggage gah! ha ha)

I mean really I think that at this point, the thing that I am most scared about is getting there. I have never been on a plane that I can remember, plus i have a super long layover (5 1/2 hours in ATL) and there's a chance it will be raining when i get there. But in 48 hours all of that will be over, and the adventure begins. Well I guess I'm also a little worried about the roommate situation. The last two and a half years I was really blessed with having the most amazing roommates, after having the most horrible, embarrassing, crushing roommate experience. And its time to go through finding out if its going to be okay or not with the person i'll be rooming with for the next 5 months. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for something good. The last thing i want is a few people telling me I told you so....all I can do right now is keep praying, and sooner or later we'll know the answer. Which reminds me i'm going to have to confront the same fear, when i get back to Northridge and hopefully rent and apt, or a room in a house. But lets not think about that its far away.

On a semi-lighter note, The improve show is tonight, unfortunately I won't be there for obvious reasons, but I know that everyone in the class is going to do great and have fun. It was a great summer with the improv group, and I'm glad that i chose to fill some of my summer time with it, and i learned a lot of things about myself...hey maybe one day you'll see me doing stand-up :P or writing for a sitcom.

Oh and on a really lighter note...I got my new phone in, so i don't have the cheap $10 Go-Phone from walmart anymore...just pray i can keep this one in good shape, and not lost for a good while.....:-/

Anyway I think thats a good enough update for now....feel free to follow me (man i think that sounds so creepy, but you all know what I mean) Lots of love! Next update most likely will be broadcast from San Juan, PR!

~Cat

Update- Change of Scenery

So I've decided to separate my blog, having my randomness, thoughts, concerns, and updates on UPR on here, and I will move my poetry to another blog. I do this because I realize that not all of you want to read the rhyming words that come from my brain, just the gossip and juice of whats going on...ha ha ha just kidding, I just want to make it easier for those who want just the update of the state of my wellbeing to be a little more convenienced. BUT! If you are still interested in my poetry please feel free to subscribe cathybeanpoetry.blogspot.com :) Lots of love!

~Cat

Poem- "Fate"

"Fate"
It’s in the stars
It’s in the skies
From afar
My true love lies

An unknown force
Has brought us together
It turned the rain
Into sunny weather

Something inside me
Has a strong attraction
And I do not know
What brought this reaction

I hear your voice
I see your face
You are the one
None can replace

It’s in the starts
It’s in the skies
From afar
My true love lies
~November 27, 2004~

Ahh...young love :) This is one of my favorites that I've written. Leave the love!

~Cat

Poem- "Something is Lost

“Something is Lost”
Something very treasured
Now that thing is lost
And what wasn’t measured
Was what it would cost

Wishing I still had it
Dreaming I never lost it
Hoping I will find it again
Thinking of how much I miss it

Oh how I want to have it
Is what I think each day
Even though I know
It is very far away

Needing it to be with me
I long for it so
Maybe one day I’ll find it
As long as it hasn’t let me go.
~November 23, 2002~

Losing a best friend can be hard, I guess the good thing about high school is that it only lasts about 2 weeks then you're best friends again :) ha ha Leave the love.

~Cat

Randomness- 25 Days!

Hey all,

So 25 days from now, I am going to be getting ready to get on a plane, and fly somewhere I've never been, to be with people that I don't know. Ahh the beauty of Study Abroad. So Puerto Rico here I come! So many mixed feelings about this experience, I mean yes I moved out of my house at 18, but I was only an hour drive away from family. Now I'm going to be in a whole different time zone, on a little island. AND I've had dreams that my luggage is stolen at the airport. But with the day just around the corner, I'm sure August 7, 2009 will be fine. So many things to look forward to, the beach, the immersion into speaking all spanish, the search for my future husband ;) ha ha I don't know what this trip will bring forth, but I know that it its something that I have to do, fears aside, I know it is going to be an amazing experience. I'll keep you posted.

~Cat

Poem- "I'll Be There"

“I’ll be there”

Ever since I met you
I’ve had this feeling inside
That you’d be the one
I’d cherish all my life
So now as days go by
We still sit here side by side
We’ve made through the easy times
As well as the hard
So now you know
I’m always on guard
And you’ll forever be in my heart
An eye for an eye
A tooth for a tooth
This poem was written
To speak the truth
So as the days go by
And we grow old
I’ll be there
When you get cold
~November 17, 2001~

Ahh the days of 7th Grade English, and writing poems about friendship. Enjoy, Leave the love!

~Cat

Poem- "New to the Game"

“New to the Game”

A whole new world
Has opened up
To a lot of things
That are so messed up,
There are so many things,
The glitz the glamour
And the rings.
There is always so much at stake
Does my heart really have to ache?
So naïve
And so new
I can’t even tell
What’s not from what’s true
A new beginning
Seems like the end
But always knowing
That it’s coming again
So no matter how hard you fight
Or how hard you try
There will always be
Another cry

Hmm... There seems to be a recurring theme in my poems, but what can I say what was in my head flowed threw my pen and onto paper and now on screen for you all to enjoy. Okay Ta ta for now, its been a long day, new glasses, new dresses yay :)

~Cat

Poem- "Dark vs Light"

“Dark Vs. Light”

There is the dark
And there is the light
Who am I to go to?
Who am I to fight?
There are so many rights,
And so many wrongs
Its hard to believe
That I can be strong
So much pleasure
And so much pain
First comes the sunshine
Then comes the rain
A giant pull from one side to the other
And who wins?
We’ll just have to see
As my life spins.

The tale of the struggle of a pre-teen finding out whats out there in the world...so sad that she is still so naive, hell even at 21, she's still so naive.....Have a great day, leave the love!

~Cat

Poem- " 'Til the End"

“’Til the End”

I got your back
And you got mine
I’ll help you out
Anytime
To see you hurt
And see you cry
Makes me weep
And want to die
If you agree to never fight
It won’t matter
Who’s wrong or who’s right
If a broken heart
Needs a mend
My shoulder will be there to cry on
‘Til the end
So when your cheeks are wet
From drops of tears
Don’t you worry
Let go of your fears
Hand in hand
Love is sent
We’ll be friends
‘Til the end

So here's my first poem post, i have a booklet full of poems, and will be releasing them periodically so that i don't just overwhelm everyone in one day with such great work...ha ha just kidding, i mean i'm okay, just a tender heart putting words on paper, or rather on screen now. Keep in mind that most of these poems were written in my early teen years, unless otherwise noted. Don't be too harsh, feel free to show the love.

~Cat

Opening

My first post...

Hmm...not really sure what to say...well I guess, first and foremost, let me introduce myself.

My name is Cathy Smith, I am 21 years old, I'm a gringa-latina, so-cal born and raised, small town girl, bookworm, performer, who is pushing six feet, ha ha.

So I guess that's me in a nutshell. I'm not really sure what I have in mind for this blog. I suppose we'll just see where the journey takes us, as I click the keys on my laptop, and eventually this will turn into something meaningful, that people will want to come back to and comment on.

Probably what you will find in this blog are poems, random thoughts, and tales of experiences and challenges that I am going to face.

So Welcome to Words on Screen:)

~Cat